What Does It Mean To Be “Sociable”?

What does the word “sociable” make you think? Most of us would immediately imagine the outgoing and charismatic individuals who's always in the social scene; most likely they are the highly likable people.

The oxymoron is, none of the above perceptions reflects the very definition of being sociable.

Being social means being thick skinned and possessing the ability to make fun of oneself without any feeling of embarrassment. Overall, sociable individuals do not take themselves too seriously and are carefree especially when it comes to awkward encounterments with others.

For instance, cracking jokes about one’s own childhood embarrassing experience is something the sociable would do with a circle of friends. If someone pokes fun at them, they would respond with a hearty laughter instead of taking it to the heart. Not hard to see, the sociable is generally good at unguarding others and is fast at acquiring new connections by showing their extremely approachable nature.

Sociable individuals don’t mind acknowledging the presence of strangers at any social setting. While most people are likely to stay close with people they are familiar with to keep awkwardness at bay, the sociable would most certainly make a bold move by walking straight up to a total stranger at a party and strike up a conversation as if the two have known each other for a long time.

Misconception 1: The Highly Likable Is The Sociable

One biggest misconception regarding being sociable is that the individual who’s identified as such is the most popular person in his or her social circle.

The Top Indicator of someone being sociable or not is to see if he or she is comfortable by being uncomfortable. Sociable individuals won’t mind putting themselves out in the open, knowing the chance of rejection is high. For instance, say Julie knows Sam doesn't accept her but Julie wants to make conscious effort of building a relationship with Sam, Julie is likely to feel comfortable with throwing a birthday surprise party for Sam by inviting common friends. The sociable is not concerned with "losing faces" or "making a monkey of themselves". If they receive a poor response, they would just "pivot".

That is to say, the sociable constantly step outside their comfort zone to expose themselves to the unknown.

On the other hand, non-sociable people are a lot more concerned by potential rejection when making a move and are likely to stay within their comfort zone. They do not like to initiate knowing there is a high chance of rejection. They are unlikely to put themselves out in the unknown and tend to justify their thought process as “being unnecessary”.

You wonder why someone who's popular in his or her own circle may not necessarily being sociable. The reason is obvious but it's kinda not. "The popular" may be only comfortable with people they familiar with, or people he or she likes. They may not used to dealing with complex situation such as talking to stranger, giving others the benefit of doubt, or mending a broken relationship.

A lesser-known fact: Take proactive steps to mend a broken relationship is another indicator of someone being sociable. Putting oneself out to a high chance of getting cold feet in return, they still think it worth a try (at least the relationship is worth rebuilding). The non-sociable would just let it be without doing anything about it.

Misconception 2: The Misfit Is Definitely Not The Sociable

I bet you find this confusing: the sociable can also be social misfit at the same time. The social misfit is identified as individuals who are the most misunderstood people among anyone else. They are usually people with admirable personality traits but are often being perceived as the black sheep of the family, A**holes, the snobbish show-off, or other interestingly defined personality type you would ever imagine for the life of you. On the contrary, some of them can be fairly good at handling challenging situations that requires being comfortable being uncomfortable. I call them the "sociable misfit".

To tell the truth, some individuals I’m closed with are the perfect version of "sociable misfit". At the first glance, their controversial outlook is definitely a turn-off. Over the years, my discovery of their true selves almost threw me off a wall: they are the most caring, intellectual, mature and friendly individuals I’ve ever seen for the life of my own. Furthermore, they are the people who go an extra mile to fix things that the highly likable individuals can not.

What on earth has caused the "sociable misfit" to be so misunderstood? Its mainly because their polarized outlooks that are most likely to misrepresent their inner self (almost guaranteed) to the general public. In other words, their biggest “downfall” is that they usually do not do a good Public Relation job for themselves (AKA public impression).

Finally, what’s the benefit of being sociable? Remember, you need to be comfortable being uncomfortable to be someone sociable. Such personality trait is an life-long asset that makes them to win friends, meaningful relationships, and successes over the non-sociable (AKA the majority). Furthermore, the sociable will most likely to live a carefree life after all.

More or less, we all tend to judge a book by its cover. It’s an inevitable downfall due to human nature. Nevertheless, you can be the better one if you choose to go the extra mile. Eventually, you end up becoming a better version of yourself.

Disclaimer:

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author's. Assumptions made within this article do not necessarily represent author's opinions. The information contained in this article is not legal advice, and is intended solely to provide general guidance on matters of interest for the personal use of the reader, who accepts full responsibility for its use.