The Downside of Sharing

I have nothing against sharing: it helps you to build trust with others, foster collaboration, and learn from those who are more experienced than you. In the past, I wouldn’t hesitate to share my story or offer my honest opinion if it inspires or helps others in any ways.

Sharing is great. However, in the business world, there is one thing that you definitely need to keep to yourself:

Your

Feeling

Yes, it has everything to do with how you feel about certain people and things. Once you crack that gate open, you are allowing others to get into your head and then play your emotion on you.

Ouch!

That’s why some people would divert into a different topic immediately as soon as they feel others are trying to "figure them out".

Don’t be emotional: this will definitely hold you back and give other people chances to use it to their advantage, or worse, against you.

When can your feeling and emotion be used by others? It's when you are egocentric, feel being treated unfairly, and are too eager to prove yourself to others. If you find yourself in one of these scenarios or more, you are susceptible to others' game.

How many times have you realized it happened to you? Or worse, you never even realized when you were being played?

Your emotion can amplify any issue. Just because you had one bad incident with someone doesn’t necessarily mean that person needs to avoided completely. Especially when a third person empathizes with how you feel, it validates your judgement instantly and propel you to cut that person loose.

The world is full of ironies. In difficult situations, an authentic leader would rather be seen as the “bad person” and apologize for someone else’s mistakes, just because a leader does not blame a team member for messing things up. On the contrary, those who seem to be supportive of you could possible use your emotion to get you to act on their behalf. When you realize the cat is out of the bag, it’s way too late.

What could happen when your emotion is played on you? Worse case scenario, you could be used by someone as a riffle directing at his or her target. You would end up hurting innocent individuals based on one-side story, keep attacking those who are good to you due to distrust caused by others' dishonesty.

Don’t be that person. Guard your emotion carefully. If your feeling was used by others, it’s no one’s fault but your own: you allowed others to play it on you.

It’s hard to tell honesty from deception. I’m sorry to disappoint you: when you feel extremely vulnerable and want to open up your feeling to anyone who’s willing to listen, pause, and hold it back. Your feeling should only belong to yourself; it’s not for sharing with others.

Sharing used to be a way to promote survival since dawn of human's existence, and now it's a method for people to build a culture of trust and innovation. Be aware that human is addicted to the win-loss mentality, which will attempt them to use your openness to achieve what they want. As much as you want to be open about anything to others, safeguard your feeling and emotion. In rare cases, trust is given; in most cases, trust is built and earned over time. The world is not Silicon Valley yet. Building a “Rainforest” is possible, yet is still a dream in the short run, just because people are innate to play it safe.

Such could be the root cause of anti-sharing, which represents pretty much everyone. If you still remembered the first time you were used or betrayed by others: it's when you chose to be open about how you truly felt (either verbally or from your body language). As time goes by, we were made to believe that sharing is not safe, which further molded us into an anti-sharing mentality. We then safeguard not only our feeling or emotion, but also our thoughts and ideas etc.

If you are or were the one who has used others’ emotion to further your goal intentionally or unintentionally, it’s understandable. You may have things that trouble you and you initially is looking for an ally to confide in. Emotion is indeed a powerful motivator to get others to act in you favour, and the temptation of winning is irresistible. Bear in mind that the damage resulted from it is almost irreversible. Once being caught, you will no longer be trusted.

If you are against the culture of sharing for that particular reason, I feel you: It is Okay. If you choose to be open about your feeling, and believe it is the best way to go about things, I understand. I'm not telling you what to do: it's entirely up to you, as long as your choice makes you happy.

The world is a broken place. If you want to make a difference to heal the world, better the society, and build a Rainforest for the humanity, promise me one thing: if someone is open to you about how they feel, never play with their emotion, use it to your advantage, or against them. Making others feel safe is the first step to foster the culture of sharing.

Peace.

Disclaimer:

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author's. Assumptions made within this article do not necessarily represent author's opinions. The information contained in this article is not legal advice, and is intended solely to provide general guidance on matters of interest for the personal use of the reader, who accepts full responsibility for its use.

Reference:

The Rainforest, The Secret to Building the Next Silicon Valley - By Victor W. Wang and Greg Horowitt

Photo Credits:

1) Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/

2) Unsplash: https://unsplash.com/