Do You Have The "Youngster Syndrome"?
Lisa , 28-year-old, was the youngest board member of XYZ Institution since its establishment. Her exceptional intelligence, perseverance, and charismatic personality contributed to this record-breaking success. Lisa's initial involvement on the board was fulfilling.
As time goes by, however, she started to feel like an outsider of the board: her voice was not being heard, and her ideas weren't seem to be taken very seriously. Every time she proposed a strategy to the board, the President would nod, smile, and say to her politely "Thanks Lisa, I will think about it", then promptly moved onto other subjects. One day, Lisa arrived early and sat in the lounge outside the board room. She overheard a conversation between Mark, the longest serving board member and the President, which later became her "knot" that kept haunting her for a quite a while.
Mark: "What do you think about Lisa?"
President: "She's great: an intelligent young lady."
"Lisa is on fire. Do you R-E-A-L-L-Y like her ideas?" asked Mark, raising one eyebrow, sounding sarcastically.
The President paused for a few seconds. Finally he said: "Well ... I just want her voice to being heard, make her have a sense of inclusion on the board ... you know what I mean ... "
Mark:"That's E-X-A-C-T-L-Y what I thought (a gloating smile) ... Those kids under 30 ... Lisa has all these 'strategic' ideas without knowing any of the real stuffs ... she thinks she can be the next president? ... I think you should tell her that ... (voice fading)"
President: (Silent)
Anger boiled intensely inside Lisa: her face turned extremely red, tears running down her cheeks. She felt deeply hurt, mocked, humiliated, and ridiculed. The following day, news broke out in XYZ institution: Lisa resigned.
If your birth year falls in between Millennial and Gen Z and (1980 - 2012), Lisa's frustration may be relatable to yours.
What caused Lisa to leave the board? Her feeling of not being taken seriously by the President and the board. Why is it so disheartening to a youngster like her?
F E A R
.
Everyone needs a sense of security, the basic for survival. Affirmation is a form of security from the outside. Being taken seriously is evidence to that affirmation, making us feel safe. When we don't receive positivity, our brains are under stress, searching insanely for that “safety net”. The stress then leads to Fear. Fear causes pain, later triggers self-doubt, feeling of worry and unworthiness. These negative emotions will exacerbate any existing issue.
On a side note, interpretation also leads to fear. Humans like creating m-e-a-n-i-n-g-s. Words have no meanings themselves, unless we create them. To understand the meaning of others' words, we interpret them based on our understanding, or assumptions based on our past experience.
Youngsters in particular, have a strong desire of being valued. I came up with a funny term to describe this generic issue.
The
Youngster
Syndrome
Youngsters want many things. They expect a lot from themselves and from others. Often times, they feel neglected, unappreciated, under-valued, and taken for granted or advantage by others, especially by those who are senior than them. Deep down, they simply want to be noticed, be heard and be treated as equals.
Being a millennial born in 1987 (age 31), I sense that my generation and Gen Z overall are too anxious and desperate of getting praise and affirmation from the outside. Think about fish and water: that's how desperate the younger generation is. Those who claim being confident are in fact, no exceptions.
Does "Youngster Syndrome" need a cure?
No, it does not because it is not a disease but an issue.
We only talked about not being taken seriously. If you think that's a big deal already, what about being disrespected or ousted by one's own company? "Space X Founder Elon Musk got spat on by one of the Russian chief rocket designers when he was 30 [1]." "Apple's founder Steve Jobs was ousted by his own company at age 31 [2]." We all know, building rocket has been Elon's biggest dream and Apple was Steve Jobs' heart and soul. How did these top CEOs later reached the pinnacle of success despite the discouraging and uninvited downward spirals?
Being
Tenacious
.
That's it, youngsters need to . . .
Eradicate the noise (negativities), work on oneself continuously, learn to build credibility and create buy-in, stay curious and tenacious of their pursuit. Practice daily affirmations. Promise yourself you will be thick-skinned.
Reality is cold: you will not be taken too seriously until the day you are ready to be; it takes time and effort. Regardless of reality, you need to start taking yourself seriously right now. Eventually others will follow. It's Law of Attraction, a scientific proven fact, not some sort of imaginary bullsh*t.
Don’t take what other people said too seriously. Opinions are personal, thus called personal opinions, interpretation of what they think. Any negative comments anyone said about you is NOT a representation of who you are. Remember, opinions are both personal and biased.
Back to Lisa's story. Lisa took every single words she overheard in the conversation between Mark (board member) and the President too literally. One thing Lisa failed to realize is that "credibility is earned, not given." It is possible the President was telling the truth: he is merely being courteous to her input without understanding much of her reasoning. Obviously, Lisa dwelled on her emotion instead of focusing on reflection and solutions. Instead, she could dig into what caused her voice not being heard and how she could make her proposals more appealing to the board going forward. When there is a problem, always focus on solution, not emotion. One last thing to think about: was Lisa's feeling of not being taken seriously partially caused by her
interpretation of Mark's comments about her? Again, what someone else says, either a comment or a thought, is only personal opinion: it's biased. (See bonus point at the end of this article- after reference: How to manage the "Youngster Syndrome" , earn respect, build credibility, and create buy-in from others.)
If something hurts really bad, it is meant to teach you a precious lesson that you wouldn't have learned otherwise. It punches you in the face , wakes you up, makes you reflect and learn. If everyone takes your seriously, you won't be in for the growth. Instead of dwelling on what hurt you, thank those who made you grow.
Don’t expect too much from others, youngsters. Always remember to
E
a
r
n
.
Disclaimer:
The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author's. Any examples, dialogues and stories used within this article are fictional: they do not describe any real-world individuals or organizations. Assumptions made within this article do not necessarily represent author's opinions. The information contained in this article is not legal advice, and is intended solely to provide general guidance on matters of interest for the personal use of the reader, who accepts full responsibility for its use.
Photo Credit: https://www.pexels.com/
Reference:
[1] Elon Musk, Tesla, SpaceX, and the Ouest for a Fantastic Future -
by Ashlee Vance
[2] Steve Jobs - By Walter Isaacson
Bonus Point:
Congratulations! Here is your bonus: How to manage the "youngster Syndrome", earn respect, build credibility, and create buy-in of recommendations from others.
Everything in life needs to be earned, including trust, respect, relationships, and so on. If you want to be taken seriously by others, you have to work hard to proof to them that you should be, and behave in such way that makes others have to take you seriously.
As I said earlier, young people syndrome doesn't need to be cured: youngsters needs to adopt control over it. Okay, let's explore how youngsters can earn respect, build credibility, and foster buy-in of their recommendations from others.
First, you have to work on yourself. To start, take yourself seriously first: your body language and appearance will improve. Respect everyone around you, expand your knowledge in different areas. Stay ahead of the curve by upgrading your knowledge and following up with current trends. Be curious and learn what is not in your field of study (student) or expertise (professional). If you are in supply chain management, why not take a course in accounting? Read as much as possible: read books recommended by the top earning CEOs such as Elon Musk, Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, and Jack Ma. Read successful people’s biographies and study them inside out. Study success, if you want to be a success story.
Then, build credibility. There is no fast track and it takes time. Over a period of time, present yourself in a positive and knowledgeable manner. Show consistent results. Provide valuable support wherever you can. Do things for others. You don’t need permission, just do it. Do more, listen more, and say less than necessary.
In order to create buy-in for your recommendation (ie: proposal, ideas, strategy, etc), ask yourself the following questions first.
Have I presented my ideas in the listeners' language? (ie: engineer, procurement, accounting, business development , R&D, sales, etc).
Have I catered my proposal to my listener’s level of knowledge? Everyone's knowledge on any given subject varies.
Do I have a business case to back up my points? A business case helps to support any recommendation.
Have I done enough research to ensure accuracy of my proposal? Inaccuracy can harm your credibility.
For each recommendation I have, do I have a specific plan and timeline, including risk assessment, mitigation, or alternatives? Laying out a plan shows your recommendation is thoroughly thought-out.
I will leave these points with you to craft your own plan. I will follow up with a blog post on this subject in the future. Make sure to tune in ^ _ ^