Should You Give Your Trust First?

Let’s face it: to trust is hard, to give trust first is even harder.

However, both are essentials and vital, if connecting with others and building meaningful relationship is what you value. Trust is the glue to all kinds of relationships in life. Without it, they fall apart. Trust is a must.

Here is the Ugly Truth: We all had our trust broken by others under various circumstances or reasons. When it happens, we feel hurt and betrayed, and it triggers emotions from memories of similar events, leaving us have a second thought on trusting others. It’s painful, and is what's holding us back from giving our trust first:

We FEAR Betrayals,

and

don't want to re-live the

PAIN

However, fear is not the ultimate solution to this generic problem. Imagine being guarded against everyone at all cost, you stop living, let alone building anything meaningful in life. If you find yourself living in such condition, you are dying slowly.

The ultimate solution is to overcome that fear. By focusing on the learning, making the right choice, realizing people are not perfect, and trying to see from others' perspectives, you will heal from the wound, conquer the fear of giving your trust first, and eventually achieve your inner peace. Alright, let's go through the steps to regain the lost confidence in trust.

#1. Focus on the learning

Instead of dwelling on emotions, focus on the message. Reflect. Ask yourself: what can I do differently going forward to avoid the same thing repeating itself?

#2. Make a choice

"Should I keep build trust or stay guarded at all cost? Which choice get me closer to my life purpose (the WHY)? Does holding a grudge help me in anyway?" Identify your purpose (the WHY, end goal, etc). and make that choice.

#3. Realize people are not perfect

Everyone has unique dilemma or issue, and some may not realize what they did was not ok according to your standard. Recognize that we all make mistakes from time to time, and unintentionally upset one another. Don't hold grudges: it only makes you weaker. Forgive, let go, and continue being yourself.

#4. Try to see from others’ perspectives

Stand in others' shoes for a second and see from their perspectives. Soon, you will arrive at a different level of understanding. I know it's not easy to do, but I promise it will benefit you in a long run: you will become in control of your emotions, increase your tolerance of people's mistakes, and achieve inner peace in no time. To clarify, I am not saying breaking trust is ok, and it's never ok to do. Instead, I am trying to make your see things from a different angle. Doing so can only help with your own growth.

#5. Thank those who broke your trust

You might be thinking: are you out of your mind? Hey, I know it is not easy, and it takes some time to cool down, forgive, and move on. Hatred and resentment can only attract negative events into your life. Every pain in life means to teach you a valuable lesson. Always thanks those who hurt you. They have shown you how NOT to make people who trust you feel. In the meantime, you have learned that you can do better than what you currently are. Instead, love, forgive, and embrace. Blessing will eventually come in your way.

Okay, enough about importance of trust and how to conquer the fear of giving trust. Given how trust usually works in society,

Should

You

Give

Your

Trust

First?

Think about Law of Attraction for a second. I am a strong believer of this theory. We attract who we are, and also attract what we believe deep inside. If you believe in love, you will find love. If you think you are a success story, you are likely to be successful according to your own standard. Likewise, if you believe people are mostly good and trust them before expecting it from them, the majority will trust you back. Give your trust first is also a way to say that you can do better than the majority others.

I know you are going to say: "Trust becomes harder when it comes to leading your own organization, getting employees to do things the way you want, developing new businesses with new clients, accessing grants, and the lists go on. It is not as easy as you think."

I agree: trust becomes more difficult in these challenging situations. If others failed you, it allows you to know them faster and better, and learn whom you can count on going forward. However, setting a positive tone onset is critical: it determines how others would react to you. Giving trust first is an effective way.

You may wonder: what if my trust is broken again if I choose to give first?

Unfortunately, it is just an inevitable reality. If it does happen to you, that is totally Okay, because you’ve done your part.

Remember, you want to build your reputation in a positive way, regardless how others choose to behave. You can only do what's in your control. Your doings would only reflect who you are as a person.

So, Should You Give Your Trust First?

Yes

,

If

You

Want

Others

to

Trust You

Don’t cast blame on society. Remember, we are individuals who make up the society. Don’t like its current state? Make a change, start from you and me, today and right now.

Be a role model. Set an example for what you want to see. The universe will give you back for what you sent out.

Do you want to earn people’s trust? Start giving yours first before expecting it in return.

What you believe will eventually become Your Reality. The choice is yours.

What is your story on trust?

Disclaimer:

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author's. Any examples, dialogues and stories used within this article are fictional: they do not describe any real-world individuals or organizations. Assumptions made within this article do not necessarily represent author's opinions. The information contained on this article is not legal advice, and is intended solely to provide general guidance on matters of interest for the personal use of the reader, who accepts full responsibility for its use.

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