15 Realizations in 2017

As the curtain of 2017 falls, the New Year comes onto the stage. To me, 2017 was a blast and a year of bless. I had the most significant growth comparing to any other year of my life.

A good way to start a year is planning. However I'm kicking off 2018 a bit differently comparing to other years: I started with reflections of the previous year.

While the New Year atmosphere is still running high, I'm sharing with you my realization in 2017. Then, we will do our best and get the most out of 2018!

The following 15 points are not only what I realized last year, but also things I've achieved through 2017's highs and lows.

1. Skincare Does Not Guarantee Youthful Skin

The beauty industry is a multi-billion industry. It has never been this promising due to the fast growing beauty conscious population. Countless skincare brands all claim that they have the “magic wand” to revise the signs of aging. Trust me, I’ve tried many reputable brands, and 99% of them failed my expectations. Pretty heartbreaking, right?

If you don’t have much impurities but just look to reshape your facial contour, facial message in fact is a more effective way to improve overall skin tone, especially the fullness of the cheek areas. I’ve attached a video about cheek exercise below. Beside, smiling helps your skin glow too. When you smile, you do not only relax and lift your overall facial muscles, but also it stimulates positivity from your brain and thus you’re your face look youthful.

Lifting Cheeks Message Video

Don't underestimate the power of the mind. It works, even better than those chemical loaded anti-aging skincare. (I will expand on this top in a separate blog)

2. Feed Your Inner Child

A dance coach friend told me: “If you want to stay young, you need to feed your inner child”. When your soul is young, your body will look young. What is inner child anyways?

Every adult was a child once. The child part of us never dies, and we are still children inside. As we grow older, our inner child becomes neglected and clouded by trivial in our lives.

To re-find our inner child, ask yourself what you truly enjoy doing besides making a living. Is it going to recreational park, doing sports, eating ice cream, playing cards against humanity, laughing with comedy shows, or shopping for new fashions?

So keep doing them. Once you feed your inner child, your mind will stay young and it will also show on the outside.

3. Explore

Do you get bored of doing the same things over and over again? If yes, why not try something different? Ask yourself, what haven’t you done so far? Is it dancing, acting, rock claiming, public speaking, blogging or skiing?

Exploring new things helps you realize your new potentials. Often times, we don’t realize our full potentials as we are so caught up by all kinds of bullshits in life. Now it’s your opportunity to explore and be surprised!

4. You Can Buy Great Quality and Styles with Fewer Bucks

If you are a woman, it’s likely that you love name brands like I do. I’m a big fun of Club Monaco’s clothing, Kate Spade’s bags, and Mother Jeans. Of course, I’m willing to splurge on them.

Why some people like myself believe in name brand items? It’s because we tend to think that clothes from high-end brands are better in quality and styles. It’s not entirely true, so you have to open your eyes wide.

For instance, everyone knows Freddy’s butt lifting jeans for an average price $150. I ended up finding a pair of butt lifting jeans from Stitches for only $19. The design is very comparable to Freddy jeans and the pair has even better quality. The difference in terms of design? The stitches jeans simply miss the lower buttcheek line. Just two extra damn lines pump up the price so much?? In terms of contouring, both brands shape and lift your butts the same way.

It’s true that you get what you paid for, however sometimes you can shop good stuffs with incredibly less money.

All you have to do is to looking around and outside the shopping malls. For instant, you can do online shopping with price friendly brands. Amazon and Groupon are also great websites that offer amazing deals. Indeed, the Internet can be your best shopping friend.

Butt lifting jeans - Stitches ($19/ pair)

Butt lifting jeans - Freddy's ($172)

Just two extra damn lines pump up the price so much??

5. You Are Exactly Where You Should Be

Since my PR (permanent residence) processing got me stuck in2016, I wasn’t able to get back to work for about 2 years by now. I used to feel about what happened to me, but later realized I am exactly where I should be.

During the past two years, I fixed lots of hidden issues. One of them is my eating disorder, which could have killed me if I kept my job. Along with it, I’ve improved so much within: I became better at relationship building, muscle building, having positive mindset, controlling negative thoughts, exploring new things and new potentials, smiling more, forgiving others and loving others unconditionally.

On the top of them, I found a person who cares about me deeply and loves me for who I am. Having such a partner is the biggest blessing for any woman in life. Think about it, if I had a job in the past two years or pursed an MBA like my parents told me, I couldn’t have met my guy, and all the self-improvements above would just be dreams.

So stop criticizing yourself. You are exactly where you should be. One door closes, many others open. I’m a living proof of it.

6. Enjoy The Moment and Be Present

You are not born to work until you die. We are born to be happy and enjoy life. If you are working for someone else right now, don’t stress yourself too much because one day you will be gone. Don’t take things too seriously because you are going to die one day and everything else won’t matter anymore.

That is to say, know what matter to you and let go of small things. Be happy and enjoy the moment. I used to feel troubled by stupid things during fun time, later on regretted it.

That’s why we should learn being in the present. You are only going to have the exact same moment once in life. Put down your troubled mind and just live in that beautiful moment.

7. It’s You, period.

When we feel bad about something, we tend to point fingers at other people. We say: “they do this or say that to make me feel bad (about myself).” It’s because we focus too much on others.

Sometimes, feeling bad (about ourselves) has so much to do with our own insecurities. It’s not about what other people say or do, because other people’s words and actions are all external factors.

The only thing you have control of is yourself. Whenever you have a conflict with anyone, think about “what can I do to make things better next time” instead of casting blames on others even though it’s their fault. Being a whiner will not help you to grow.

8. You Are In Control of Your Life

Our families and close friends are the primary sources of our influences.

I am from a traditional family with conventional thinking: Get a university degree, get married by age 25, have kids before 30, and work in a “secured” job to feed the family. That’s how they define life.(I was lucky for not getting married and have kids at age 25) Beside, my mom is a classic fear-ward and she’s filled with: “what if you can’t…” Even though my dad has a family business, I never had a chance to learn from him as I was told to only focus on school.

In 2016, due to the lengthy PR processing, both my parents told me to pursue an MBA degree so that I could get a better job once things are back on track. I said no to them this time.

Finally, I learned to take control of my own life instead of complying to my parents. It turned out I made the right decision: for young MBA graduates in Canada without advanced work experience, a prestige degree is nothing but another huge expense. If you are not ready or your job does not require an MBA, don’t do it.

Instead of locking myself up for an MBA, I worked on myself for the past 2 years, and accomplished significant self-growth. I’m now a brand new person, of which an expensive MBA degree would never offer.

Of course, I love my parents. However my love for them does not translate to idaeless obedience. You are in control of your own life. It’s your life, not your parents’ or anyone else's.

9. Less Is More

We tend to cram too many things all at once. Sometimes, doing less is more.

For example, if you workout for 2 hours per day, how long you can keep it up? Not too long right? If you go to the gym on every second day, and only workout 1 hour each time you go, you can keep it up for longer time.

Take another example. Do you tend to apply too much facial cream at a time and hope for faster results? The truth is, the skin can only absorb so much each time. If you use only a little bit each time, your skin can fully absorb it without wasting it. Not only you won’t waste money, but also you will see the results sooner.

We somehow feel obliged to keep ourselves busy even though we’ve already felt so burned out. We chose not to rest because doing nothing makes us feel guilty. Don’t be. By doing nothing, you are recovering your energy and body a bigger challenge ahead of you.

That’s why less is more, nothing is something.

10. Find Your Own Niche: Make It a 10

Are you good at solving conflicts among people but are terrible at math? Are you a 9.5 at writing but only a 6.5 at public speaking? Well, you don’t have to be good at everything. The school system taught us to be balanced at all subjects, but in real life it’s not how things work. We are all exceptionally good at “something” while terribly at others.

As for that “something”, it’s your niche and you have to dig it out from your soul. Why not make your niche a 10 out of 10? They are your markets, which distinguish you from the crowd.

You can even turn your niche to a business if you wish. For example, if you are crazily creative and truly believe in your ideas, be the second Elon Musk and quit your dead-end accountant job. Remember, having your own business means working for yourself, doing what you enjoy and never feel tired, and it’s also a way to contribute to the society. It’s a good deed.

11. Don’t Let Your Past Be Your Burden

The past…How many times do we use it as an excuse of a failure?

Need some examples? “I broke up with my ex because my past is still troubling me and I couldn’t focus on the relationship with him; I couldn’t open up to people and make new friends because I was badly hurt by XYZ; I’m so scared to continue my business idea because I lost tons of money in my previous business idea.”

“OMG somebody help me!!” <-- Is that you?

Why let your past dominate your future? The power is in you: if you don’t decide to let your past go, you will never grow out of your own shadow. Not all the relationships or business fail, not everyone is an assholes, so why not give other people or opportunities a chance?

Stop living in the fear of the past, people. You can’t if you want to succeed going forward.

12. Quality over quantity: You Can Live Without Some Friends

In 2017, I finally realized that I could live without some people.

I used to think that I need more friends to keep me happy, and finally realized it wasn’t true. Some people are just not good for you. Some people are negative and verbally abusive, and they are just very toxic to your mental health. They complain, whine, and see the entire world is against them; they rarely appreciate or show interest in helping others, let alone see things in brighter side. These friends won’t help you grow or grow with you but trap you in the world of negativity.

It may sound funny but true: having no friends and hanging out with yourself is better than having toxic and negative friends. Don’t feel bad if you have to leave a friend.

Instead of surround yourself with countless friends, choose quality over quantity. That is to say, choose a few people with good qualities and invest in these relationships over years. Eventually, these few quality friends whom you build strong bonds with would eventually become your life-long friends.

On the front of friends, I'd like to shed light on "Fake Nice People". They are individuals who appear to the nice and easy to get along with at first; overtime, their facades fade away and their true selves start to immerse and often the complete opposite of the first impression. They sweet talk others to get their own ways, and only care about what they can get out of you instead of valuing your friendship or investing in you. They are extremely selfish and toxic souls. Learn to identify fake nice people and permanently stay away from them. (I will talk about it in an upcoming blog)

Keep in mind: the 5 closest friends of yours shape who you are. That’s why you have to be careful of find the right people. Nevertheless, it takes time and effort.

Please Take All the Time You Need in finding your 5 lifelong buddies.

13. Say No To Procrastination

When you have a great idea, weather it’s for self- improvement, career, or building a business, you should get started right away. The time won’t wait for you, and procrastination won't do you good.

Keep in mind: If you started early, you will see result early too. Studies prove that emotional intelligent people tend to start an idea the same day they found it.

If it’s a business idea and you truly believe in it, start working on it today before anyone else does.

14. Selfie Is Not What You Look Like in Real Life

Selfie, don’t we all take them?

It's sad to say that not everyone looks great in selfies. I used to be addicted to my selfies until 2 years ago because that was when things started to go off track. My face no long looked good in selfies. In the beginning I was puzzled but later on figured out why. I used to have a round baby face in my teenage years and early 20s. As going towards my late 20s, my round face disappeared and it turned into an oval shaped with high cheekbone. An oval face looks just wired in selfies. When I look at myself in the mirror or have others to take pictures of me, I look so much better.

I have to consciously avoid taking selfies because these images are my nightmares: I hate them so much. Ladies and gentlemen, the reality is: you look 100 times better in real life than your selfies. I’m not kidding.

15. Forgive Yourself and Others

I know we all do this: blame ourselves for our mistakes; blame others for their misconducts.

Little do we know, self-blaming can negatively affect our self-esteems; blaming others is to punish ourselves with others' mistakes.When we hold onto negativities, our body produces harmful toxins to our skin and body. When we forgive and let go, our body release endorphins that heals our skin and body.

The next time when you feel like blaming yourself or others, remind yourself to let go. If you can’t go back in time to change anything, why wasting time feeling bad with your and others' mistakes?

You are better off moving on in a happy mood

So bring them together:

1. Skincare does not guarantee youthful skin (realization + accomplishment)

2. Feed your inner child (realization + WIP)

3. Explore (realization + accomplishment)

4. You Can Shop Good Quality and Styles with Fewer Bucks (realization + WIP)

5. You Are Exactly Where You Should Be (realization + accomplishment)

6. Enjoy The Moment and Be Present (realization + WIP)

7. It’s You, period. (realization + WIP)

8. You Are In Control of Your Life (realization + accomplishment)

9. Less Is More (realization + accomplishment)

10. Find Your Own Niche: Make It a 10 (realization + WIP)

11. Don’t Let Your Past Be Your Burden (realization + accomplishment)

12. Quality over quantity: You Can Live Without Some Friends (realization + WIP)

13. Say No To Procrastination (realization + WIP)

14. Selfie Is Not What You Look Like in Real Life (realization + accomplishment)

15. Forgive Yourself and Others (realization + accomplishment)

Before I close, I had a glimpse at my 2017 New Year Blog "It's Not Just Another Year" (click on the link to read full article). I was delighted as I accomplished all the goals mentioned, and had gained deep understanding of each of them with real life experience. I'm going to give myself a thumb up! Meanwhile, I noticed a big leap in my writing: it's stronger, more straight to the point and less misinterpretable. To a writer, this is definitely a big thing worth celebrating.

I look forward to seeing what 2018 would bring to our health, families and friends, careers, passions, and happiness. What were your realizations in 2017?

Happy 2018!