There is Nothing Such As the “Right Look”

Which is the right look for women: Chubby cheeks or chisel face? Slim figure or curvy body?

Models definitely nail it. They are slim and tall and have chiseled faces. According to society, they have the ‘right look’.

Here is my hang up in my early 20s. I wanted my face chiseled instead of being chubby. Without appreciating my perfect chubby cheeks, I was bothered by it and hated the way my face looked.

(August 2007)

(Sept 2011- when I had perfect chubby cheeks that I've dreamed of having now.)

In 2012, I slimed down quite a lot due to going through trauma after breaking up with my ex at that time. My weight dropped from 125 LB down to 105 LB. It was quite skinny for a 5 feet 7 ½ height body. As for sizes, I was close to disappearing: my top size was XXS top and size 24 (00) for bottoms. Due to significant weight loss, my face slimed down as a result.

Finally, my appearance received approval from the society. For the body status I had back then, I was even slimmer than Victoria Secrete models. That was ‘even better’ for women to be.

(June 2012 - I was 105 LB for 5 feet 7 ½ in height.)

I had many young girls asked me this: “What’s your secrete to stay so skinny? What exercises do you do, or you’re on special diet?”

This was what I told them: “I have no secrete. I just don’t eat.”

I moved to Alberta in October 2012, after finishing university in British Columbia. For 5 years living in Victoria, I was almost ageless. Climate in Alberta had a big impact on my skin condition. More over, the cold and dry weather speeded up my aging process. Just in 6 months living in Calgary, I saw the changes on the skin around my eyes, and I started to look my age then (I was 25 years old).

(May 2013)

I was still skinny as hell. Looking at other females who had perfect facial skin, I asked them how they kept look so youthful. Almost all of them told me the same thing: “it’s mostly fat. Girl you really got to gain some weight.”

Because being skinny equals to beauty, I did not want to give it up yet.

In April 2013, I started my gym membership with Goodlife Fitness. Since then, my weight bumped up to 112 LB, with a bit muscle put on my frame. However, I was cautious of my weight because I did not want to bounce back to the chubby body I had before. Therefore I restricted my diet to mostly fruits and vegetables, so that my body weight won’t go up continuously. I kept the same weight for 3 years with 6-day per week gym routine.

(June 2014 - body weight went up to 112 LB, with 13% body fat)

In 2015, a big change happened to my face. When looking at myself in the mirror every morning, I looked a bit strange but I wasn’t sure exactly what was wrong. Until one day, I realized that my face started to lose volume. In other words, the density of my facial skin decreased.

I was only 27 then, and how did this happen to me before age 30?

After doing some research, here is what I learned: After age 25, our collagen production drops 1 per cent each year. If your diet is mostly vegetable and fruits, congratulations, it will age you even faster.

(May 2015- my facial structure had undergone a big change. Cheekbones became really obvious and a chiseled look started to develop )

My restricted diet was not doing me any favor. Instead of completely realizing it, I blamed it all to not using good skincare products.

“I didn’t use any anti-aging creams that year. That’s why.” I thought to myself.

In 2016, my face looked even slimmer. It looked as if it was sculptured. I started to see the “chiseled look” I had been dreaming of.

Now you would’ve say: congratulation! You finally got the look you want!”

Even my younger sister who's 19 commented on my new look: "According to Society's beauty standard, your facial structure now is preferrable and defined as beautiful!"

Society, society, and society again. What's wrong with the society nowadays and young women's perception of beauty? I was speechless when hearing my sister's comment.

Instead of being happy about it, it felt really sad, as a real chiseled feature is not what I thought it would be. It looks great under makeup in photo shots, however it looks really wired in person. In addition, it makes a person looks much older.

(May 2016 - As my cheekbones became even more obvious, fat on my face disappeared even faster. I really hate the look I was growing into that year as I seemed like a completely different person from before.)

The chisel face is a trend. Many young ladies use facial contour markup on both sides of their face to illuminate a chisel look. By 2016, I had it naturally grown. For those who are under age 25 and want the chiseled look, I can assure you to own it in a few year.

Since then, my impression of a chiseled face was completed destroyed. Even worse, how my face looked made me feel less attractive than I used to about myself.

Then, I started to miss my chubby cheeks. Flipping through my photos of previous years, my face was just in the perfect shape. Once your face starts to lose density, it’s not only hard to restore, but also takes effort and time.

In order to get my chubby face back, I went through lots of brand name skincare product loaded with chemicals. They worked for while then stopped. I was devastated and didn’t know what to do. Then I tried laser treatment and other anti-aging pressures, but nothing really helped.

Finally, I realized the root cause of the facial volume loss: it was my crash diet since 2012.

I decided to completely change the way I eat.

I can’t wait to tell you how harmful dieting can do to your body. It is not only detrimental to your health, but also ages you faster.

(My food - these dishes are full of antioxidants, collagen, fiber, vitamins. They are Super nourishing both for health and beauty)

In February 2017, I started a change over for my diet. I made sure I ate every meal with good combination of nutrition. For the damage I’ve done to my body, I understood that it would take time to heal my body, then my skin.

After stopping going to the gym for about a year, I went back to GoodLife Fitness in May 2017. With healthy diet, I focused on gaining muscle and body strength. So far, I’m at a healthy weight of 115 IB.

At the same time, miracles happened to my face. Not only my cheeks were slowly coming back, but also my face started to glow. According to the photos I took earlier this year, I noticed a big difference on my face right now compared to earlier this year.

(July 2017 - My face started to become much fuller and glow under healthy diet, skincare and workout routines)

From 2012 till now, I’ve gained 10 LB in total. However, I looked even better than the old me back then. I could never imagine that gaining healthy weight could improve my appearance. Meanwhile, I no longer sabotaged my confidence and started feeling so much better about myself.

(August 2017- Body weight has gone up to 115 LB. My cheeks have visibly grown bigger.)

Finally, I came to realize one thing in life: “there is no such thing called the right look. We are all awesome the way we are, and the right look is a bullshit made up by the society. Screw “how society thinks what beauty is”, because it means nothing to a healthy body or a happy mind. We should define our own beauty.

(August 2017 - be bold with your own beauty. Define your own beauty. Don't give a F* about what the 'society' thinks, because your opinion on beauty is more real and important.)

After reading my experience on losing weight, I hope you’ve realized the importance of healthy diet. Without a healthy body, beauty does not exist. When I was grossly underweight, I was afraid of eating because I believe food is the cause for weight gain. When I achieved the look I’ve been wanted when I was younger, I felt even more miserable as I realized it was not realistic beauty. Being beautiful is not about being skinny or having chiseled face. It’s about living healthy and being happy.

Define your own standard of beauty, and stand by it. Say goodbye to that bullshit called the ‘right look’.

(July 2017 - I'm still working on improving my health and restoring my chubby cheeks, as everything in life is always a work-in-progress ^_^ )