Practice Staying Happily

When you first read this topic, what pops up on your mind?

You might think I’m out of my mind: how on earth one can practice staying happily as if it's a skill?

The next question is: HOW?

Isn’t being happiness natural to all of us?

It used to be like that until one day…

In the old days when we were babies or small children, we smiled at whatever we did and whoever we saw. We were happy little dolls, and nothing could ever bother us.

One day, we became young adults. We started to have expectations: the kind of career we should have, the kind of house we should buy, the kind of car we should drive, the kind of partner we should be with or marry to, the kind of appearance we should possess, how we should be perceived by others…

We started to worry a lot. We are troubled when we don’t meet our own expectations or standards set by others.

Meanwhile, we began to compare ourselves with those of the same age. We look at where they are at in career and family life, and compared our worse with their best.

As a result, we became depressed. Very depressed.

If you pay close attention to the way you talk or think to yourself, there is one word being repeated most often: SHOULD.

Why should?

There are 3000 commonly used words in the English language. Why not find a replacement?

Instead of saying “should”, what about “want”?

When we express our plans using the word want, it puts the actions under our wills and we do these things out of our own desires.

However, when we express our plans using the word ‘should’, it sounds like we are forced to follow these plans, not out of our wills.

Let’s rephrase the sentences above: the kind of career we want to pursue, the kind of house we want to buy, the kind of car we want to drive, the kind of partner we want to be with or marry to, the kind of look we want to possess, how we want to be perceived by others…

As you can tell, the word “want” puts you in a proactive mood, whereas the word “should” projects a passive connotation.

Words matter.

Also, be nice to yourself when you talk or think to yourself. If we talk to others in the same way we talk to ourselves, all of us would be institutionalized with no doubt...

Read from the above, there are two things you can do to stay happy.

1. Replace “SHOULD” With “WANT”.

2. Act Like A Baby

For the second point, it takes lots of practices. We officially entered the adult world at age 18 (brace yourself if you are not there yet). Once we are grown-ups, we let go of all the ‘baby things’ we do, including simple ways to find happiness.

Babies are excited by everything going on around them. They pay attention to subtle things that adults don’t, and they seek their happiness from them.

For instance, when it snows, babies smile and clap. Yes, snowing is common to the Canadians and those who live in cold regions. Instead of thinking snowing is a normal event, focusing on the beauty of it and the way the snowflakes fall on the ground. Be excited when it happens and enjoy that special moment!

When you are able to find excitement in everything happening around you, you are back to your baby state and are able to stay happily most of the time.

Do you like food? What’s in your mind when eating?

When you taste chicken wings dipped in hot sauce in a restaurant (or at home), what do you taste?

You either taste the ‘regular chicken wings with hot sauce’, or the ‘extraordinary feeling and joyful experience of chewing chicken wings’ with hot sauce in your mouth.

Put aside the quality of the food, if the first is what you experience, you focus on the motion and purpose of eating without appreciating what you eat; if you experience the latter, you enjoy each bites of the food, focus on experience and appreciate what you eat. It further shows that you are very present.

Enjoy each bite no matter what you eat. Not only it’s a way to appreciate food we have whereas people in poverty couldn’t, but also it’s a way to live to our happiness state.

That is: finding excitement in every subtle things happening around you, and immerse yourself into these happy moments.

When replace ‘should’ with ‘want’, and act like babies, happiness stimulates our minds and we start to think positively. When this happen, each cell of our body is energized, sending signal to our bodies for positive action. That’s how we carry about positive actions to confront whatever challenges we are experiencing in life.

A mind is powerful, that’s why practice staying happy is crucial and it should be your priority.

Don’t wait, stay practice today!

(Acknowledgement: Friends and colleagues who supported me emotionally and mentally are granted content credits for this blog post ^_^)